A Message From The Universe

Yesterday, I was driving, on my way to see my bestfriend. I haven't seen her in awhile because she just had her second baby. (The guys agreed to watch the kids so we could go shopping and we were super excited to finally get out of the house). Since my friend lives an hour away near our hometown, I had plenty of time to myself to think, reflect, daydream, enjoy the music, and take in the silence as needed. It was a huge relief (especially because I find driving to be very therapeutic), but it's hard to get that time alone since I have an 8 month old.

On my drive, I thought about how much my life has changed in two years since becoming a mom and moving away from home. As I was thinking about this, a song came on my Spotify shuffle. "If It Makes You Happy" by Sheryl Crow. It brought on some heavy nostalgia. I was thinking about how the last time I heard that song, I was on my way to the beach. (I drove two hours by myself to get to Strathmere after a really bad breakup).

I remember singing that song with the windows down and not a care in the world. It was the first time in a long time I felt completely whole (if ever). I was finding happiness and moving on from everything that happened. When I got to the beach, I put my blanket on the sand and watched the waves as I was finally allowing myself to catch my breath. I sat there for what felt like seven hours, but was only two.

Smiling on the drive back home from the beach, I cried tears of joy because I was so proud of myself for persevering (despite the psychological warfare I had endured in that time) and a wave of gratitude washed over me, grateful for my journey on this planet. I was so excited to see where life was taking me from there. Listening to that song and watching the summer sunset reach its golden hour, lighting up the trees on the side of the road, I was finally ready and excited for life again.

Driving to my friend's house yesterday, I felt those same feelings come over me. I was thinking about how it feels to be a mom, the traveling I still want to do, where to go from here, and the fact that I'm excited to write and create again. Thinking about how grateful I am for everything and leaning into the parts of me that I still need to heal and improve, that song came on again.

I got this weird fuzzy feeling of warmth and nostalgia, hitting me all at once. As I started reflecting on that day at the beach four years ago, I took it as a sign from the universe that everything is going to work out. As the song is ending, I look at the car in front of me that's about to pass me and the last four digits on the license plate read "xxx9999". My immediate thought was "no way..that's weird". After looking it up (I'm weird with numbers and stuff like that) --- here's what I found:

"A divine symbol & sign that essential change & cyclical shifts are coming soon...."

"Dreams are reaching manifestation, fruition, success because you're at the cusp of your destiny...Archangel Raphael represents inward growth."

"Enlightenment, new beginnings, spiritual transformation. Encourages gratitude, positive decisions, and trusting instincts."

Overall, I think it's funny how I was reflecting on life and then that song comes on, and then I see 9999 and get that message. Synchronicities are strange, but they always feel like magic. Even though being mom is hard sometimes and I feel the FOMO, I don't take it for granted at all. I know life happens and time passes very fast, and soon it'll be over and I'll miss it all when I'm old and gray.

I think that patience and gratitude are key right now in this phase of my life. Going forward, I'm remaining open to whatever changes are on the horizon and taking this as reminder to let go and enjoy life as it ebb and flows. I'm learning fluidity and what it means to be authentically me. I'm taking that as a sign to just keep on shining.