Unpacking The Idea of Fear

Lately I've been having random spurts of clarity. A lot of them deal with facing my fears. (The reasons behind why I won't face them and what's been at the root of it all). I think I'm entering a new phase in my life where, in order to grow, I need to face my fears. I'm beginning to understand that one of the reasons I've been feeling so stagnant in life is because I've let fear control me for so long. It's the reason why I've always been afraid to travel, move away from home, put myself "out there", and try new things. I know I'm afraid of being judged, but...

... what does "judgment" even mean? How big is my ego? What's the role it plays in all of this? What creates fear in the first place and how do I handle it? How do I co-exist with something I don't understand?

I've always been one to struggle with social/general anxiety, but having the realization that I'm always fearful of something, and maybe that's what's been holding me back from living my life, I began to question myself and do my own research.

I recently watched a ted-talk about fear and it gave me a new perspective on the idea of it. The video was based on the idea that you can't completely kill fear, but you can choose to "dance with fear" instead. He talked about the part of the brain called the Amygdala and explained how it can be overactive sometimes. He called it "The Lizard Brain". He explained that the "Lizard Brain" will do everything it can to avoid attention, change, and struggle because it rather be kept in the comfort zone where nothing can go wrong and you're always "safe". By recognizing this and reflecting on times I've let the "Lizard" win, I've come to the conclusion that he might be right.

It's helped me to better understand anxiety and where it comes from. It's made me realize that by thinking it's wrong to feel fear and wishing it would go away in those moments of helplessness, it actually makes those feelings worse. The more we normalize those feelings, become familiar with them, and accept them for what they are, the more we can rationalize and respect the "Lizard" by not doing what it wants us to do.

We have the choice in the moment, not the Amygdala. Failure, judgment, and rejection are all valid reasons for not wanting to go forward with something. However, there's also an immense amount of courage in seeing the potential threat at hand, while still choosing fearlessness. The "Lizard" clearly acts out of survival, but we don't have to be ruled by it.